A MESSY Valentines Day

AHHH VALENTINES DAY!  The day of love, extra kisses, chocolate, flowers, candlelight, romance.....  right? right???

I LOVE my husband, Chris!  I am beyond blessed that God set me up with a man who seeks HIM and strives to be our spiritual leader! 

AND don't get me wrong, I love flowers, I love chocolate, and I love sweet notes from my Groom.  L-O-V-E.   I try hard not to, but sometimes I can use the "L" word so flippantly, with things that do not deserve that word.  

In our society we say we "love" a lot of things.  Unfortunately, in the English language, we do not have "LOVE" broken down into categories.  And if I really really really really LIKE something, well, I then might as well say that I love it, right?.  But most of those "loves" come and go because they are specifically to "please" our desires.  The ranking of LOVE for chocolate (where the extent of love depends on my mood), does not touch my love for Chris!!!  

SOOO, V.A.L.E.N.T.I.N.E.S  D.A.Y.  

On a day that has built up sooo much excess hype, I found myself pushing against the grain.  I didn't want flowers, chocolate, a gift, or to go out to a fancy dinner.  Something about the thought of that rubbed me the wrong way.  And I finally figured out why. 

The love I have for my husband (or my kids) is so much more than that, so much deeper.  We have been through struggles and pain, seen each other at our "worst," and when we feel unlovable.  

I've heard the phrase "marriage is bliss."  I am pretty sure whoever wrote that was a liar or never married.  Although marriage has "blissful" days, it also has it's share of, well, mess.

Biblical marital love is MESSY. It is messy because God USES my spouse to chip away at MY own ugliness!  And when I take an honest look inward, I don't like everything I see.  Just like a vine that has to be pruned of the "dead" branches, the dead parts in my life need to be stripped away.   And any kind of pruning is painful and messy.

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." -Hebrews 12:1

LOVE IS more than a feeling, choosing to show love when I feel like it; 

it's more than flowers that whither or chocolate that fades. 

LOVE IS a commitment that perseveres through the mundane days, the trials and pain, the sickness, the struggles of life.  Real love doesn't pretend that the other is flawless, it SEES the flaws, but CHOOSES to fully love.  

This VALENTINES DAY God gave me the "gift" of a celebration of that love- a MESSY love!  One that reveals my flaws, my yucky thoughts, and the mess of marriage.  

But like always, I had a CHOICE this Valentines Day.... do I embrace the mess and let God change ME to be more like Christ? Or do I stay in my hurt and frustration, only to become angry and bitter?  
This Valentines Day I got stuck in the mud, not knowing how to pull myself out.  I couldn't let go, I was fighting to be heard (well, more like a turtle in a shell pouting since I DO NOT like conflict, which I am learning is part of the blessing of growing in marriage).  But I am so thankful God did not let us stay there!

  

Our Valentines Day changed after I let go of my selfishness, pain and wanting to be heard and God opened my heart to "hear" my husband.  To hear past his words and actions, deep into his pain.  I chose to let go and minister to Chris' needs and left my needs at the foot of the cross.  And as always, God took care of my pain so I could minister to my husband with ALL of my heart!  I got the blessing of praying over Chris and my goal changed.  

When I give GOD my "junk," He changes my perspective from my spouse meeting my needs into to ME meeting my spouses needs.  

Every day I have that choice... a choice to show Jesus' love to my Groom.  And while I could not do this on my own, with the help of the Holy Spirit and the Word of GOD, I can let Jesus pour out HIS love through me! And what a blessing to get to be a part of something so amazing!  

So LOVE LOVE LOVE!  

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

 (1 Corinthians 13:4-7; 13 NIV)

So for love I will celebrate!  I celebrate the only perfect and unfailing love of my Savior Jesus!  I am thankful that even though it may hurt, He never wants to leave me where I am!  He loves me enough to grow me.  I am constantly learning how to embrace these growing pains!

I celebrate my precious blessing and Groom, Chris. I choose you always and forever!  Thank you for loving me through the mess!  Thank you for your forgiveness when I mess up!  Thank you for choosing to say I'm sorry and own up to your mess too!  You have no idea how much that truly means to me!!  You are my love!!  God continues to write our love story!  Thank you for who you are!!  I love and respect you so much!

We did not take a picture on Valentines Day, so this is a pic taken the Day before!